A letter to my son…

I remember the day you were born. I held you in my arms and marveled at how I could ever have made something this perfect. And every single day since then I have been in awe of you.

You occupy physical space here on earth, but you are far from earthly, my son. I used to watch you looking at the world and wish I could see it through your eyes, see what you see because you have always looked at things so differently.

It was clear when you were very little that you were special, and not in the all children have gifts and talents kind of way. Something more. Something the world hasn’t ever seen before.

You know so much, and I know you believe there is little left your mother can teach you. But you are still so young.

Daynen, there is always room for joy, in literally everything, the trick is to take it with you. You get to carry it in your heart, the way I hope you will carry me in your heart when have grown and moved up and moved on. I know you will be the kid that wont call much, and its ok. Never not for one single moment of any day will I let you forget that I loved you enough to let you be who you are, even when you are away.

When it comes to growing up, there are a few things to remember… make sure your socks match and are clean. Sort your laundry into batches, wear a sweater when its cold. Floss your teeth. Eat real meals, not just snacks. Hold the door for women, and children. Always rise from a table when your date gets up to “powder her nose”. Be patient even when you dont feel like it. Speak softly when you are angry.  Hold hands with a girl when you walk beside her and dont let go until she does. Always do what you say you will. Keep your promises. Dont say things you dont mean. Ever.

When you find a girl you like, you will ask her father for permission to date her. You will be respectful of her mother. When you are invited to dinner with her parents, please lay you napkin on your lap, and offer to help clear the table and clean up. ALWAYS offer to help when you can.

When you are given the chance to dance, dammit, dance! Every time. I hope you will be the kind of young man who will look for the girl sitting by herself and ask her to dance, because you will have made her day, and that is so important. Be the man I know you are.

Smile at strangers.

Work is something you can’t escape. So bring your best self to it, rise to challenge yourself. And be wise with money, it is a gift to know and understand the importance of a job well done, and being paid to do it.

Never hit a child, or a woman. If you are ever hit, you have the right to defend yourself, your loved ones, and your belongings, but never raise a hand to be cruel to anything. You wont like who you become.

Know right now, that people speak unkindly to people who stand out like you do. They’ll call you names, and it can hurt, we get to choose if we believe these things. Choose to know better, because you are smarter.

Be proud of where you come from. You were born with such great love. Don’t forget that your parents were young and pretty dumb and that you have taught them both so much. And we are always learning, and I hope when you become a father you remember that you will always be learning too. Never forget to stop and say I love you. And I am proud.

And when I gone and you are missing something silly I would say to you, or the songs I sang to help you sleep… know that I loved everything about knowing you, and being your mom was the best thing I did every day of your life.






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