Before the dawn breaks the sky and interrupts this perfect night… know this,
I had fun. I laughed at you, and with you, and a lot at myself because I am so ridiculous.
When daylight comes, I will move from this spot, and find another… and I will remember how I felt last night, and that inner voice will sing a song that stings less.
After dusk, I will dance in my garden with my childrens’ laughter ricocheting off the earth into my heart… and I will know I am what I needed to be all along.
I will understand them, and they will look at me with perfect trust and know that I am the first and last place to come for kisses, and for shelter.
There is no room for the cold world outside our window to touch us in the home we make together. My sons will grow in my garden tall as trees, and inside them will be the roots of a love so great they will only ever have to touch the ground to feel it… to trust in it, and to greet the world with purpose and kindness.
My daughter, my beautiful, complicated, silly, exposed nerve of a girl with big blue eyes, and soft dewy skin will know only strength, and decency, and have perfect faith in herself. She is the change the world wishes to see. I know this because she as all the love in my heart, and feminine wisdom that carries on from the women who come before, and we share their struggle, and triumph. She has a third eye where she can see into the meaning of a man, and know its intention. She has a soft voice that when heard aloud, opens a portal to place of philosophy, humility, and pride. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is perfection personified…
In the gloaming when these 3 sheep are asleep, I will call to you … and tell you that I channeled you here.. that I carried you in my heart, and that I could not have done it today without you. I will tell that my feet got tired. That I remembered your recipe for chicken and noodles, and that I wish you had been here to remind me to be patient with close minded, fear mongering, or as some call her, My Mother. I would have liked to remember that one today. I will sleep with your song in my heart, because the morning will come again, and I will wait for them all in my garden. Thank you, nanna for sending the butterflies to me, thank you for sending your love to me… and send some more to her.. she is sad and lost today, too… one day, she will hear you.