They say its over when she sings… Well the lady’s singing…

I think she may still have tears in her eyes, and your token in her hand.

She is singing a song you may have heard before… another one of those she sings as she walks out the door.

“Goodbye is too good a word babe, so I’ll just say, Fare Thee Well”

Give her a bit of a break, she has had just about as much as her pea pickin heart can take.

She could sing I Will Always Love You, and you should know its true.

Maybe one day it will all make sense.

Until then, I give you my gentle goodbye.. and my recompense.

In dreams, I am a dancer a tempest of desire.

 My thunderous clouds move above you and ignite within a wild fire.

My body twists and shifts under your stone like stare… and I cannot be freed, or will myself to care. 

I’ve saved a seat for you- bring with you whatever you must- but, please darling, I beg of you, be quick about it, 

this dreamers’ dancer is quickly turned to dust. 

I am on the prowl. I am a hungry lioness seeking her lunch. I am a starving artist who needs to pay her rent. I am armed with all the hope and ambition in the world. I will find a new place to call my own. A job, a paycheck that will help me keep my happy home.

But, while on the hunt, the long hungry hours I have lost, I get restless. And I know myself, no good can come from this.

Things I have learned while putting myself “out there”.

* Real girls wear heels, and well I am clearly not a ‘”real girl” because I can hardly walk in them.

* A solid, firm handshake shouldn’t make the other guy grimace!

* Don’t go in there hungry! (such an “only Anne” story, but I went to an interview last week neglected to eat anything prior and my stomach was doing ALL the talking! eep!)

* Keep your sense of humor.

* Do not! I repeat DON’T! Tell your cute my little one did this, stories! And if you are anything like me, you need to know, you probably shouldnt sing during the interview. (another “only Anne” story I may share with you later)

So I am still hunting determined to “bag and tag” my new baby before months’ end. I know a few others out there in the cold getting lonley, feeling old. Hang in there! We will all be feasting in no time!

#1: Laugh. Every day even when it hurts. Laugh even if you’re crying.

#2: Live your life out loud! Get your shiny new megaphone out and shout… let the whole world hear you. If your scared, just remember I am always somewhere near you.

#3: Have lots and lots of sex! Good sex with someone who will touch every part of you, even down to your toes.

#4: Show kindness to everyone. It will always come back.

#5:  Start your day with a simple rule that you make your bed before leaving your bedroom. If you have a hard day your nicely made bed will be a sanctuary! And if you had a great day then you can simply…

see # 3! hahah

If it wasn’t this, it would be something else. And its all just stuff… and people tell me to count my petals and cast away my stones. What’s in your backpack, anyway?

In my backpack you will find:

3 precious things, 3 small things, 3 big ones. Some paper with my spiky back hand print filling the margins with a thought I couldn’t let escape me.  And a well worn deck of cards… a momento from the day my heart grew 3 times its usual size.

And because it wasn’ this, at least I know, it doesn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be by the time you turn eighteen or thirty-three or fifty-nine. It doesn’t have to conform to whatever is usual. It doesn’t have to be kismet at once, or rhapsody by the third date.

It just has to be. In time. In place. In spirit.
It just has to be.