Stolen

I would not cheapen you with words that are small, or so big they don’t fit you at all.

You are the caffeine in my coffee, my wake up and face the world call out.

You are like the solid and unexpected 300.00 cash bonus I’m going to keep all to myself because Old Navy is having a sale, and I’ve been wanting to change my hair.

And you are the answer to the question I couldn’t ask, I wouldn’t dare.

You make me look at myself and remind me to laugh, and to forgive… I think you may be the only one I know who gets it and really knows how to live.

You’re the chord in that song I can’t stop trying to play.

They tell me you will disappear without apology one day… but to them I simply say

He would not cheapen me with carelessness, or act simple, or unsavory at all.

I am the last snicker doodle in the bag, I am a soft safe space where your hurts heal.

I’m the hot bath at the end of a long day, I’m the keeper of the lost word you forgot to say.

I’m the fingers on that right hand, right now… reaching out to feel.

It is every day, and in every way my  heart you steal.

 

 

High Stakes Claims

I watched the snow fall, I watched his tears fall. We didn’t speak, but the cold and crisp cold mourning said it all.

Love doesn’t live here. He could not watch her go.

I heard the crunch of cold under his boot,  I held my breath my heart calling .. “o please, turn one last time, give me one last look”

Waiting for his goodbye is like stopping, and stalling. On the freeway.

I’m waiting for the storms to pass and the carton of milk to expire.

Staking this heart on a pyre.

When We Were Young

A while back, I don’t think I can even tell you when; a star was born. Actually I think this star may have just been something that came to be because you touched me.

A light in a tunnel. An awakening within. And it changed me forever. You changed me. I don’t even remember what I was doing before this star filled my sky, I have little remnants of a life that came before, but without ever understanding why

I am not the woman I was before. I am not even a woman. Because a woman wears a different kind of smile, a woman has a powerful voice..

I’m more a creature, because when it came to this evolution there was no question of choice.

There is a light that casts shadows on the walls around you, distorts the look of a thing until  it is lost, and it seems only the mighty may find you.

I keep pixie dust in my pockets for that exact moment when the stars fall and the wind is right and the grass is green and we can move mountains with the strength of our hearts. And we are not people but bursts of bright lights that move and are interspersed throughout a world we made all our own.

Mommy Moments

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails
That’s what little boys are made of!

(19th century nursery rhyme)

Meet Maxwell, he’s five.

 

maxwell

And if you haven’t heard this yet, you will soon enough… I can do it, by myself! It doesn’t matter what it is. He can do it. He can cook, he will put on an apron, get a kitchen ladder, the one I have to use because I’m too short for the tall cupboards, and he will stir, break eggs, add ingredients and will proudly announce, “I’m a good cooker! I’m Chef Maxwell!” this usually happens on stormy days spent inside. Change the channel, find our favorite game, reach the story book on the top shelf, speak another language, beat the level on Little Big Planet, start the car.. my advice to anyone who has the honor of caring for this kid in his Super Mom’s absence? Don’t turn your back. You just don’t wanna know what he’ll get up to. 

He’s not always going to believe in magic, or want the crust cut off his peanut butter sandwiches. And some day I wont be his average, everyday super MOM. But I am today, and he told me I have an invisible cape and he asked how I can see inside his brain to know when he is up to no good. And… when I am de-throned it will hurt, but for now… for today I am SUPER MOM, hear me roar!

 

Reverberations

There are always strings attached to gifts and other things.

A polarity that will pull at your heart and leave a feeling unsettled within…

It is one of those strings I am tugging at now..

There are things I just know like one and one is two

and I am still figuring out where to put you.

We are so much alike I’m betting you have the same trouble. too.

Put me in your pocket, and I can jingle with your keys

Because even now the site of you brings me to my knees.