Mother’s Helping Hand

When you’ve cashed in all your do-overs and all the I’m sorry I am late’s and the dog is too full to eat your homework…

 

You can come to me. I will know what to do, I have been here before. I can help.

 

When you’ve spent your bottom dollar on a bet, when the sun came out before you got to bed, when your very favorite pair of jeans are wet.

 

You can come to me. I have a solution. I can help.

 

I have done all these things before, okay, okay I admit I have done all this and a helluva lot more.

 

I don’t really learn from my mistakes, I just get better at dancing when the world has raised its stakes.

 

I’ll bring the vodka and ice cream when your heart breaks.

 

Baby…

 

Follow my lead, I’ll teach you my two step.

 

I’ve got your bail money, honey. I’m your rainy day parade, that’s why I promise to come to your aid.chocolate frame pic 16 edited.jpg

Post Chakratic Oaths

When I tell people who don’t know you about the first time I met you and the ways our lives for a decade had danced around the inevitability of an US how my supposed former, maybe one time future sister wife is touted as the “good” version of me- the nicer version…

What does that even mean? 

When I tell them I iced my soul to keep it alive for you,

Then set the house on fire to get warm.

I watched the burning the embers and wondered why it didn’t feel like a loss at all. 

When the bank teller tells me she isn’t my friend,

When my friends stop telling me anything,

When I no longer know how to make friends and wonder why I feel weird in a crowd.

When the ice breaks, the bough from which it hung comes loose and I am undone-

Does this mean I died and nobody bothered to tell me? 

At the funeral I so frequently imagine now, I see my parents, but mainly just their disapproval of me. 

I see my once former husband honestly scared to say it, but so glad to be rid of me.

I cannot see my children there, I am sure its because the thought of leaving them like this is more than my heart can bare.

But something, somewhere stops me..

Did I tell them about the laughter that rang out in a hotel room? img_4465

That we had to be pried apart, that we our bodies fused into each other and he took all the orgasms with him. 

Will they understand that for me, loving was never a matter of choice?

I would not have chosen, I could not have dared.

I did not know I couldn’t logic it away – There was no casualty to be spared.

Will I tell them that my base Chakra is alive with your cells, that from that a burning born inside my Solar Plexus calls out to yours, and you feel it too? 

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Velut arbor aevo

My son, have I taught you all a mother can? Is there more to teach?

Climb high son, fear not brave one. You can do this, just extend those limbs, and reach.

You will be graduating very soon, and I don’t know why but it is really getting to me. I am a lucky mom, you’re a terrific young man. Some would say you are untested, you’ve been protected.

Over the years I have seen you grow and change into someone I think can be relied upon, someone genuine and kind. I know you will be a good and kind man to someone, someday. I know you will be private, my young strong Leo, keeping himself mainly to himself.

The family tree we have built is one of many wild little roots, but you have grown in front of my eyes, I’m sorry its taken til now to realize.

 

I have given the wildest of wild roots from which to grow, but they’re yours, so you wont be planted in one place- the world is yours, go now and fill it with your dreams.

It might be scary, but it wont be as hard tomorrow as it seems.

Go now and claim the life you want for yourself. Take this step with great pride, you earned it.

No other mother can ever be more proud of her son than this. IMG_4767 (2)

 

 

 

Honor Bound by Body

I unfold in front of you slowly and suddenly and then all at once as if there were a portal in the magical middle of you

I am bound to the place you pin me. Make no sudden moves, I can’t stop the crest fallen swoon of the eager sparrow- hips locked with your rhythmic grooves

Your words drop like silver star stuff from your crescent lips.

Your crest emblazoned in flames on a near perfect chest…

Writhing like a wicked little witch nary wearing a stitch

Distracted, lusting feels so entirely protracted…

How much time has passed? I could burst in equal parts flame and flower. Let me soft petal soften you where you’re heart has hardened- let me in my Knight.

I, the swallowing sparrow am bound to see this through,

Knight in near perfect body armor- it comes down to you. honor boundhonor bound.2.jpg