All of this is for meant for you

the dawn

 

Patty Cakes, wild flowers in your hair,, ginger colored dancing, fingers always reaching, eyes searching, hearts beating, fresh clean sheets, clear watery eyes, seaching, spots for sobbing, feet that cant stop running…

The sun as it rises and day unplanned filled with little surprises, train rides, high fives, raindrops, gum drops, bus stops, Plane rides, bike rides, bold and confident strides.

Hello, jello listening to that girl play the perfect cello…

Why cant you come to this place? Lover, why cant you come to this place?

Open your mind and fill this empty space.

Honor Bound by Body

I unfold in front of you slowly and suddenly and then all at once as if there were a portal in the magical middle of you

I am bound to the place you pin me. Make no sudden moves, I can’t stop the crest fallen swoon of the eager sparrow- hips locked with your rhythmic grooves

Your words drop like silver star stuff from your crescent lips.

Your crest emblazoned in flames on a near perfect chest…

Writhing like a wicked little witch nary wearing a stitch

Distracted, lusting feels so entirely protracted…

How much time has passed? I could burst in equal parts flame and flower. Let me soft petal soften you where you’re heart has hardened- let me in my Knight.

I, the swallowing sparrow am bound to see this through,

Knight in near perfect body armor- it comes down to you. honor boundhonor bound.2.jpg

 

Washed Away

Something happened to my heart

I can’t follow where it strays

Something took hold of me,

My wild beating heart has left me

It Betrays.

Give me back my common sense,

Im so sick and tired of the nonsense.

It twists my form, and leaves me feeling a kind of dirty that cant be cleaned.

I will rise- filled with a pathetic, if even an honorable compromise.

I strip away all that I am. I will shed this skin I am in.

Give me a new pair of boots, I will dig myself out, and take with me, these earthly roots.

A storm swells inside, this is not a new wave to ride. When the eye finally drops, everything that we have been ..simply- stops.

 

washed away

 

 

 

New Beginning

abbys

Sometimes just taking a shower can be life affirming.

Sometimes water can wash away the feeling.

Like being born again baptized.

There is a new kind of daring flashing in those fierce and all too knowing eyes.

Something under the surface is showing, her strength belies.

Letting It All Hang Out

She rides to treatment today with her knees drawn to her chest. She’s reading the book I started, and because she isnt the one driving she has now gotten ahead of me. The words drip off each page and fall like petals into her lap.

Treatment today will be filled with questions I can hear ringing in my ears. Why was she at the party? Didn’t we discuss her not being at the party? Did you observe her? I did. I think so? She’s hard to watch I always want to sweep her hair from her face. I always want to change her clothes. I hate myself for this. I wish I could just relax around her. She’s a time bomb to me. She’ll go nuclear again, and we’ll find her on the floor.

I feel so judged. I know it’s just me. Im doing my literal and actual best. I know this. I cant do more than this. I have twisted myself up, and feel like every instinct I have is wrong. So wrong I am afraid to leave any permanent marks anywhere. Nothing that cant be undone somewhere else. I am not good enough these days for writing words in ink. They must all be free to be erased and begun again.

I watch with curiosity as the other mothers make their way in and out and seem to hold a confidence I just dont. They look like they all finished college. I bet they didn’t have their sick daughter when they were 21. Its just plain too young. You know I hear speak of their kids being “cured” and I think to myself- “Fools!” This is a not a common cold. This is a cancer that lies dormant and go into remission only to strike again, without permission. riding in cars

Tied Up

watching_the_world_burn_down_by_1honey1-d34crnu

Lately my limbs have new knots

Because Im tied up in your trees

With branches that tangle and twist

 From ankle to wrist.

And the song birds sleep in the palm of my hands…

Their song like a prayer

You cannot understand them, if you don’t care to listen

There are people you meet who can level you with a simple look,

They make you believe in the fantasy from your favorite childhood book,

He’s been brought to life.

He’s got your soul in his teeth …

When you see him build a bomb shelter because

The Heat Signature between the two of you will cause the world to

Incinerate Underneath

Spirit Guide

freedom

Emboldened by belief in forgiveness and peace

I have assembled all the ages I have ever been into this one woman before you.

I’m a wanderer. I have always lost track of time, and thought. I would give my last dime to a beggar on the street with a smile, wishing him well… no care for things I haven’t got.

No time to stop and think when the waters are restless inside of me. When even a flash of light can send me running through our streets at night.

Some call me crazy. Some call me whore.

Their words can rise from the dirt where I stand, pulling at me, trying to plant my feet in the ground, pull my poetry down without a sound.

I am indignant. I am an artist. My syllables pulled from my core do not speak the language of limits… they take my spirit with them… they endure.

I will outlive most of my critics. Its not just an accusation, its a simple observation.

I live inside of love. Unfurled on the floor you will find my words ringing in your ears-

Like a mirror reflects what is shown, I am a light that shines to the bone.

I am refracted by cruelty, but never reduced.

My poetry cuts in, my words a knife, it carves, and you’re seduced.

I am the butterfly whose wings wrap like words around the feet of my foe- intent not to follow- but to lead where you go.

An unbearable lightness of being will break the heart of the still breathing child- but I am their champion. My words cry out for their freedom.

A garden rich in its soil, will feed them. Their bellies full with the dreams they have eaten. I will but guide them with my soft colored wings..

 

Great Experimentations

Time stalls in our presence… it stops to watch what we’ll do next.

When we were children we ran naked through a backyard sprinkler and the old lady who lived there yelled at us and threatened to call the police. We ran like little snipes from her yard and the delicious stolen droplets of water now pooling between our toes.

The winds stop moving at your command, I watch it happening with wonder as you wave your right hand.

You are ten feet tall and bullet proof, you are the epitome of a summer spent in a radio flyer, and treasures collected at the beach. You are sand between my toes, and sex underneath.

I told you once we were running with scissors, and there was never any safety net… I felt the chill in late september and a pain I haven’t forgotten yet.

Time stalls in our presence in a sleepy sort of way… It doesn’t get things done, there is always another little something it needs to say.

Turn back the clock, meet halfway down the block, bring your Bird on a wire, and that rusted old radio flyer.

Pakistani children cool off by walking t