*POOP* Happens

Doesn’t it?

I wish I had less of it in my life.  But in an effort to keep my commitment to myself, to my kids, and to PAY IT FORWARD a new dogma I have recently decided to buy into. I have chosen to laugh at it, all of it. So here I am paying homage to all the different kinds of poop I get to shovel.

Let’s just talk about it. Poop. For me poop takes on a lot of different meanings at different times. I’m not proud of this, but my toddler believed the other word for *poop* was the word you’re supposed to use every time something was dropped/spilled/broken. Not my finest hour.  Speaking of toddlers and poop- we are currently in negotiations with same said toddler about the finer points of where and how to poop. Expressing with as much enthusiasm as possible that we have a moratorium on any pooping outside of the potty. If you consider this an Olympic Event so far we have 2 points for the “home” team and well more misses than I care to recall. Yep. Pretty  poopy.


So the “other” kind of crap we should discuss covers a multitude of clean your **** up and put it away, the spiritual kind- the Holy ****! Doesn’t come out often but is always said in bewilderment at life’s little surprises.

In my family we have tested it and can prove it to be true that the really big, awful poop comes in the form of bad news, bad things, and usually in quantities of three. I am talking about everything from lost lives, lost souls, lost innocence, and lost dreams.  The rule of 3. Not more than we Cheeney’s can handle, just enough to keep us shoveling for a while. I have decided to celebrate this particular poop . I am honored that I am strong, and I am proud to tell you that my strengths have been tested many times. I am proud that we Cheeney’s come from survivor stock. You can’t keep a good half-irishman/ woman down! And we are proof of that. We know how to draw those lines in the sand, how to circle our wagons, and see the Upside of Our Anger, Angst, and sometimes, even our enemies whether they come in the forms of ignorance, neglectfulness, cruelty, or chance. It is just plain poop. And we carry an arsenal of laughter, hope, togetherness, and shovels to cover it all.


And when the day is done, we sleep with clean hands, full hearts, and each of us with a renewed sense of what is good in us all. Ready to face “the fan” again another day.

80’s and everything after

I saw a preview for a movie coming out soon with Sarah Jessica Parker… it was titled ‘I don’t know how she does it.” The answer is. She doesn’t. It takes a village, lady! It always has, and you know what else? It always will. This aint no one person job. That’s why we single moms have it so damn tough- you don’t know how she does it? Are you serious?! Wow! I don’t know how Cindy does it, or Ann, or Lara, or Nicole, or even me. But I do know even so, we don’t do it alone.

I have help. I enlist the help of family and friends all the time. And we ALL do that. I have great helpers. I love them all. And my kids love them. And they love my kids. And we all love each other. And hopefully that will be enough to get us through. I think it is.


And here’s the thing, I loved Sarah Jessica Parker. Ever since Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, I have loved her. I wanted to be her in Honeymoon in Vegas, loved her in Woody Allens’ movies. (don’t get me started on Woody Allen- I think I am the last one to still actually like Woody Allen’s movies. I actually have friends several years older than me who don’t even know who or what he is all about)   And her insane body. And her fashion… and she freaking bagged Ferris! And he is still completely adorable. Ok, he isn’t John Cusack, but still… I have a cute nose and am totally willing to surrender my cute nose for the horror that resides in the middle of her now, way too pointy face if it meant I could wear her clothes, have her abs. And be Carrie. OMG! Carrie.  But she has really done it this time! I am already pissed off and haven’t even seen the movie yet.

So any other bitterly jealous sisters of the Sword that wanna see it with me?!  I will be there on opening night- relying on the terrific helpers I have in my life to entertain my kids while I spent a few hours envying, loving, and I hope laughing because despite its contrived story line. (oh I haven’t seen it or anything but trust me, its contrived and I am OK with that if the story is touching, and she is fabulous, and it sweeps me into the story- and has great music. You know, that comes from and we should ALL thank him for it- music in movies raised the bar high thanks to another John. John Hughes. Had terrific taste, too!) That scene in Say Anything- a favorite of mine from the time I was like oh I don’t know nine years old- wishing I could find a sport of the future Kick Boxing hottie boyfriend. .. like John Cusack’s character.. Lloyd Dobler.. what a name, lol, anyway he stands under Ione Skye’s window with a stereo in hand playing Lost In Your Eyes.. and sorry, much love to you Ione with the weird mouth, your eyes were a little stony to me… but whatever floats my imaginary boyfriends’ boat…


So I am sending an open invitation to all of you- come with me opening night- we will eat something fried for dinner, and drink something with some fruit in it because as Cindy is always saying I am wimp. I am a shameful irish lass that cant really hold her liquor. HAHAH But we will find out if we agree… I Don’t Know How She Does It, and then I suggest a slumber party with my imaginary boyfriend John Cusack, and Cindy’s popcorn. And Kelly’s Hot Tamales and Milk Duds… and some limes, for me. Please come. RSVP to me whenever you feel like it

Lions For Lambs

If what they say is true- “The Meek shall inherit the earth”, then I think the kind hearted and considerate of others, should pretty much inherit everything else!

How many of us really take the time to be thoughtful? I know my intentions are never really unkind ones, at all, but sometimes they’re selfish. Sometimes, they’re thoughtless, even. But what good do the best of intentions really do when there is no power behind them?

Careful thought and consideration of others is sometimes a hassle. Some people pull it off with ease and grace and these rare such souls are the inspiration for today’s topic.


Kelly Hewitt and Shannon Gray this ones for you! I applaud the both of you for your natural thoughtfulness, your good natured spirits, your “excersises” in restraint (thinking of Kelly now and her lunch time walks!) Shannon, I have heard this beautiful woman say she doesn’t believe she has patience… yet she exudes it from within.  Ladies I really cannot say enough about what wonderful people I find you both to be. I am so grateful to share a circle of common friends with you!


I salute many of you for your kindnesses, Lara Swenson, Jody Trujillo for your sunny dispositions, Kelly Abeyta Hepworth for a compass that can be counted as always pointing due north to truth, righteousness, kindness, and fun! Elisa Terry for making everything beautiful in her presence- you darling old friend have a gift. Michael Cheeney for always saying something inappropriate that will make me laugh, and for your leadership, friendship, strength, and I love that you are loud person. I really adore that you will shout across a room to be heard, and that we are kindred spirits on the merits of good music coming from nearly everywhere for which I am sure we have our parents to thank!   Olivia for 10 million different ways you show love through thought, service, kind words and deeds. Cindy for so much more than can be put into words, my fabulous friend you are a “sister” in my heart and always will remain so. My daughter for Living, Laughing & Loving the way you do and may your pure heart be protected and kept strong for all the wonderful days of your life. My dad. For everything in between that on its own never amounts to much, but is always there when you really need it and him. For always doing that. Matthew Shepherd for your kind words and thoughts about really pretty much everything including that which annoys you which you share in the most generous ways possible to those who care to hear it. And Matthew my friend, I always will care to hear. For My Captain, (you know who you are) for exploring the eternal abyss with me.

And if the purest displays of love come from service this goes out to one deeply caring, considerate woman I am in awe of more and more as each day passes. To you mom. For sacrifice. For hard work. Perseverance and spirit. For your humor. For your homemade chili and chicken noodle soup. For always watching. For your many talents. But right now, for your ability to stand up and breathe in and out, and to go through the motions in what has been a very personal and painful challenge. Mom your service to your family and your home is appreciated. If there is a reward for this- then I hope it leads you to peace within.

I am challenging myself to try and have better impact on the people I care about by being a better daughter, mother. Friend, and I want to thank each of you for your examples. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, my friends, my loved ones, … may my words and deeds emulate yours!